The solemn monkey

Is human evolution driven by fear? Fear of uncertainty, fear of the unknown, fear of being utterly alone in this infinite universe? Now the vision has been alive for many centuries, and its roots go deep in our mind. «Humankind is the chosen race». One day humans decided to leave the world, and consider it as something separate. Since then the rift is steadily getting wider. At some point in the history, many realised that they could no longer see any meaning to their existence. The other side was to far away. So far away that they forgot it. Once the meaning was one with us. We didn’t even need to ask about it. We didn’t even think about it, because it was obvious. As it is obvious for the sun to make light.

But now it is different.

About 2500 years ago, a flurry of religions began to appear. Humankind’s effort to bring the kingdom back.

Nothing has changed today. We still look for a way to explain everything. Even in atheism. But today we have a lot of distractions available around us. So it’s easier to ignore the void.

Science is another face of this will to find answers, to explain everything, control everything, be safe, be on top. Science does a good job of explaining the how. But not the why. If anything, it’s just showing us how unbelievable and wonderful and miraculously intelligent and organized is this universe. A part of us knows we are part of this genius. But we wont surrender. The wound is too deep. The rift is too wide.

Where I see chaos, I see humans. The sky and the rocks and the birds watch us as we kill each other, hurt each other, rape the earth. And yet it’s not evil at work. No it’s ignorance at work. Just, the absence of truth. There is no such thing as evil. As long as we will believe in it, we won’t see the truth. As long as we believe that we are separate from the world and each other, more important than a cloud or a squirrel or a flower, we won’t see, we won’t understand.

I know that evolution of humankind is making my life easier. It’s easy to find food. It’s easy to be healthy. Or is it? There are so many places in this world where nobody can eat or be healthy. Nature provides. But not us. We don’t provide. We take. And we decided who take, who does not. It’s not fair.

The world is crumbling around us. But life will prevails. However bad we treat this planet, I trust that nature will go on, in its peaceful and restless quest to create and paint and sing, manifest itself. But we won’t follow. Cancer must eventually eat itself, and die because it kills it’s own host. Humankind is not cancer. Our vision is. Our beliefs. It’s useless to try to save the poors, and make peace, and try to recycle, if we don’t change our vision first. Useless. U S E L E S S. War will come back. The trees of the world will fall and cut into splinters. Millions of children will die.

We want to control everything. Everything that is unpredictable. Everything that can hurt us, or kill us. But we don’t care about killing other, and make entire races disappear, as long as it can sustain us.

I can use internet.

I can use a mobile phone.

I can drive a fast car.

I can have a high definition, widescreen flat plasma TV.

I can manipulate genes.

I can travel around the world.

I can create every flavors on earth and beyond.

I can change my body to make it perfect.

I can watch people dying live on TV.

But…

I’m still afraid.

So afraid.

Afraid of the unknown.

Afraid of the dark.

Afraid of death.

Yes, we are afraid of death. And we will go as far as preventing death too, one day.

We are all looking for all these perfect things. Perfect relationships. Perfect family. House. Dog. Car. Money. Sex. The perfect life.

In fact we are just taking different paths leading to happiness.

Yes, that is what we are looking for.

We want to be happy. That’s normal, isn’t it? But it seems we’re not satisfied with anything.

Even when we cover ourselves under the blanket of beliefs learned in books, told by religions, famous authors. There’s still a dark corner that won’t be filled with light. Because you can’t live with borrowed truths. We still feel blind. One day or the other, pleasure fades, pain knocks at your door. Death. Fear takes you by the neck. You can’t breathe. Again. And whatever you believed in crumbles to dust. Death happens all the time around us. But we got very good at dismissing it. So good, we can even pretend it doesn’t exist. It’s nice, because one tiny look into death’s eyes, and you see your own death, and that’s bad. Because death is the best thief. It takes you everything. Money. Attachment of any kind. Fame. Loved ones. Everything. Yourself! Name, job, political views. It all doesn’t matter anymore.

But that’s ok. That’s normal. Only the unreal can die. Because when you see…

The wound of separation is healed.

And the bounty of being part of this universe comes to you.

Content.

Fearless.

Silent.

Aware.

Alive.

Simple.

…

Eternal.

Death holds life by the hand. They cannot be without each other.

It’s the same for us. We can try to be in our small bubble. Gather all these toys around us. Play all these roles. Wear this name. Carry all these memories that makes you, you. It’s nothing but a wisp of sand in the wind.

I wonder if we’ll keep trying for long? It’s been thousands of years know. We don’t seem to get tired. Asleep for so long!

Is it even possible to wake now?

Maybe.

One at a time. Maybe.

But no one is willing to part with the illusion.

Unless life strike you so hard, that you can’t help but release your grasp.

I love watching childrens. Bathing in the real. In the now. So fragile and at the same time, invincible.

Wherever we are born. In heaven or in hell. We all start with this innocence.

It’s still there after all those years. I know that it can’t die completely. Like a flower, that can wither, but that stay alive under the earth. All that it needs is some water. Sunlight. And look at it grow again. It’s this flower wich I cannot name. What makes our hearts beat. What makes our attention bring anything to life. Buried. Deep. Deep inside.

And yet, so easy to see, once you accept to surrender.

But we won’t. Not now. Never. Maybe. It would be a defeat for us. All those years. Everything we made. For nothing? No, maybe not. Maybe we need all this hurt so we can finally see the real. And let go of all these beliefs. These fears. We will stop trying to hold on to what must eventually go. How many bombs will we need? How many dying children live on TV? How many wars?